Trump claims he is “the least racist person” ever. Well, how about the Dalai Lama?

Racism or lLove that is the question
Racism or Love that is the question
During Netanyahu’s visit a reporter wanted to know about the rise of anti-Semitic incidents in the United States and concerns that the new administration was encouraging xenophobia and racism.  The NYT reports:  “There is no question that hate crimes and malicious speech have accelerated since the presidential campaign, with Jews among the prime targets. The Anti-Defamation League says anti-Semitic talk in the United States has reached levels unseen since the 1930s. And there have been bomb threats against Jewish centers across the country.”  The NYT goes on: “As for racism and anti-Semitism, he said “bad things” have happened “over a long period of time” and gave no hint of appreciating how his nationalistic, anti-immigrant policies and fear-mongering have been a dog whistle for the alt-right.”
The media discussed this terrible response which did not address the havoc that organizations like Bannon’s media property Breitbart, who is known as one of the wife-beating men in the current GOP administration. Trump chose this racism promoting man as his most trusted advisor.  Trump even is known to sign Executive Orders that were placed by Bannon in front of him, without even reading them, and without informing the National Security Organizations. Bannon calls the shots because Trump chooses this racist to call reign supreme.
Instead of taking the opportunity to reassure the country that he will uphold the US constitution, which does not allow racism, he simply whines about feeling accused.  The President of the US, and the leader of the until recently “free world,”  failed with his answers to this important question. The horrible rise in racism and anti-Semitism fostered and fomented by Breitbart, Bannon and his ALT-Right racist segment of the US population.  The ALT-Right is emboldened by Bannon and his media company. Trump hired him and until he fires him,  Trump is the boss, he is responsible. Bannon created speaking opportunities for racists, Ku Klux Klan Members and people who engage in the Nazi salute.

The dictionary explains: “A racist is a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another.”  Trump has claimed in several interviews that he finds being questioned whether he is a racist “offensive.” So why does he keep promoting racists?

Trump was raised by a father who was a registered Ku Klux Klan member, and his grandfather rented out women.  We can realize that many of his attitudes were formed during the pre verbal phase of his childhood. Trump rates women on a scale of 1 to 10, typically considering the age and the women’s bodies.  Not their mind, not their personality, he sees women as possessions and as objects.  He thinks that his being so attracted to women that he is compelled to touch them without invitation, is proof that he “loves” women. He succeeded in frightening and empowering women by the millions to leave the coziness of their homes to actually physically take to the street to protest.

It is quite possible that Trump is completely unaware of his attitudes, or how his actions, words, and attitudes perceived by an innocent bystander.  Clearly Trump doesn’t have much respect for his own voters.

Donald Trump made the following statement in a 1998 interview with People magazine:

If I were to run, I’d run as a Republican. They’re the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they’d still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific.  
                                                           Donald Trump

Trump admires dictators who murder their own citizens, he hired billionaires after claiming through out to the Fox News watching audiences that he would “clean the swamp.” And claimed Hillary giving speeches was proof that she was pro-Wall Street. Now on a near daily basis Trump brings in his “very capable” – often previously accused of fraud – Wall Street friends to run the government. It is obvious that he and his Wall Street Friends rode into the White House by making false promises – Better Healthcare than ACA – Better Paying Jobs – Safe Streets – and a GOP that would be winning so much they would get “tired of winning.”

Meanwhile here is a quote from the Dalai Lama:

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
 ? Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

Stop! in the name of love…

Sea of Roses
Sea of Roses
Valentine’s Day makes us contemplate the meaning of love

Some people wonder how to stay with a war hero husband. Of course when your spouse is on the front you are afraid of loosing him or her.  It is easy to feel the potential loss as ever deeper and growing true love.  The fear of loosing him or her, may actually grow your commitment to be there for your spouse, and to love your spouse with all your heart and soul.  You care for and love your spouse so very, very, very much.

Later you are so glad that they survived, so thrilled that they came home with out loosing life or limb.  You are so happy when they come home to you and your kids.

Veterans returning home.
Veterans returning home.

Trouble is that if he or she is suffering from a severe case of PTSD, your life will change as well.  PTSD when expressed in a volatile and dangerous way is contagious.

Here is a true story:

A man, a vet came home from the war.  He was such a lovely, intelligent and charming man.  When he was conscious, that is.

When he wasn’t conscious, he turned into a hurtful, brutal and dangerous man.

In fact, because he was from a very good family, he was raised with the believe that a woman should be protected and cherished.  He had many sisters and was raised to be protective of them as well.  When he fell in love a deep calling rose up in him and he knew that he could be good for something, he could be a hero caring for his little woman.  Even after all the atrocities he had witnessed during his service.  He could protect that this lovely and shy girl who would be his bride.

The lady was raised in a Christian home and as a proper women who would love and cherish her husband. She was raised to believe that a husband and wife were bonded in the commitment to make marriage not just a holy sacrament, but also to obey and honor her spouse and support him in every possible way, in sickness and in health.  And she was raised to support her husband’s growth in his career and standing in the community.  In short a lovely and very proper woman.

And, OMG, it really worked. They started life together and enjoyed it fully, they worked hard, and bought a little home.  They planted a garden and had common hobbies. He took her to romantic dinners, and was very proud of his “little woman.”  They were very much in love and looked forward to a bright future with a lovely family.

What she had not realizes when they had this whirlwind romance, was that somehow during their romance, he didn’t experience any of the symptoms of the PTSD he had sustained in the war.  His parents and siblings thought the young woman was a blessing in all their lives.

Then after they married he experienced some stress at work and the PTSD that the woman knew nothing about returned. The trouble is, when you are married to a man who has PTSD, no matter how many flowers you receive, no matter how many declarations of love you received, no matter how sincere these declarations actually are, the man may turn on a dime.

With a nightmare, with some trigger you were unfamiliar with, you might get hurt, beaten, strangled and severely physically compromised.  The emotional pain is insufferable. A proper women may try coping mechanisms that they are taught. This woman tried to cope with the danger and pain by praying.  She forgave him, she loved him, and she was determined to stand by her man.

The praying really did help her to keep her calm, but it didn’t keep her safe.  Eventually she ended up in the hospital with a severe cut in her head, bruises all over her body, and she needed to get stitches so quickly to stop the severe bleeding, that she ended up with 27 stitches on her shaved skull without anesthesia.

Love alone is not enough.  So if you have a good reason, a wonderful reason to love a man, a mighty and wonderful man. and he hurts you.  Stop, in the name of love!  Stop.  Stop pretending it will get better, stop thinking that it is your fault. Stop. Stop the lies that keep you bonded to such an unhealthy situation.

Get help!!! Help is out there, and you can be free of an abuser. Even if you know that it is not his fault that he experienced such terrible hardships and pain. It is not your fault either and you don’t have to deal with it on your own.

PTSD is recently acknowledged as a potential result of war engagement. But if you are just a kind woman who loves your man, you may need some serious help to keep you and the children safe.  Love alone will not heal this potentially dangerous condition. And, as many people found out, the constant stress and danger of living with an unpredictable, hurtful, disrespectful man, causes the spouse PTSD as well.  Unfortunately  it is contagious.

So get help.  He needs therapy.  There are some forms of therapy that are promising.  But while he is in therapy, you and the kids may have to watch out for your own safely.  The lady in the story eventually knew that she had to leave him, so he would not turn into her murderer.  She did this after he held her at knife point of a long kitchen knife for 1 and 1/2 hours talking like a crazy man, wondering aloud if his pain would stop, if he killed her. She finally realized that it was her god given duty not to help him ruin his life entirely.  She realized that she could best help him by being away from him.

The shock of loosing her helped him.  He got therapy for PTSD and after 10 more painful years, he slowly got better.  He told her that he was glad for both of them that she had left when she did.  By leaving him she helped him to stop the negative spiral he was on.  The loss of her and her love woke him up to the fact that he had a serious problem. Before she left him, he thought “she was the problem.”  He thought if she was kinder, or more strong willed, or funnier or not as afraid of him, or not as angry, he would not have had to punish her all the time.

He told her that he strongly believed he may actually have killed her eventually, if she didn’t leave him.   A study in 2015 showed that 94 percent of women killed by men were murdered by someone they knew. Of the victims who knew their offenders, 62 percent were wives or other intimate acquaintances of their killers.

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.1

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.  More

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is get away from someone you love.   For the rest of us, who are in a wonderful and happy relationships that works or can be nurtured into working, we may wish to support those who are not so lucky.  Support the National Coalition Against Family Violence